This and That

There is no central theme to this post. It's more of a hodge-podge collection of everything significant that has happened lately.

Some good news to begin. My fasting glucose levels were normal this time so it seems I am out of the woods, for the time being, with regard to diabetes. That's a relief as it would just have been one more health problem to manage!

I'm currently weighing up how best to manage the whole doctor-patient relationship with my GP. I think I'm still minded to keep control of my treatment plan but I am also acknowledging that I can be a little 'full-on' and hard-headed sometimes and no doctor likes a patient who tries to tell them their job! I've worked through the whole 300+ pages of the NHS NICE guidelines and now have a better idea of what I can and can't ask for. Realistically it is just going to be about symptom management rather than anything that will allow me to return to a normal life but I've already accepted that's how things are now.

One thing I'm wanting to ask him is whether he'd sanction Modafinil/Modalert on prescription. It seems to scare a lot of doctors as it can be equated with amphetamines (speed) but it works in a completely different way and doesn't seem to have the risks of raising heart rates or encouraging dependence. I think it has been used 'off-label' for M.E. patients but not widely. Anybody out there had any experiences of this drug?

Another decision i'm chewing over is whether to get a wheelchair. I have a feeling it would make a huge difference to my quality of life as I could get out and about again but I'm constrained by being too worried about the reactions of others. I know I should get over that and I'll try to - it's just that I don't have the energy or inclination to deal with other people's bullshit. There are still so many cases of people with disabled badges on their vehicles being abused for 'being perfectly fine' or people being told they are only using a wheelchair due to being unhealthy or lazy. I mean, I can walk - it's not that I've lost the ability ... but more than a few steps and my heart rate is racing, my muscles are going into spasm and I feel like I'm going to faint. A wheelchair would mean I could try to start doing normal stuff again and have the occasional day out or whatever. I think I will ask for an Occupational Therapist from the local council to come out and assess ways my everyday life could be made easier.

Oh, and I have a new favourite thing. Magnesium. I never realised how beneficial it could be for so many things. I'm now using a magnesium-oil spray on my skin and I have a big sack of Epsom Salts lined up for baths. I'm already seeing benefits in terms of headaches and muscle pain etc. There's apparently a great book called The Magnesium Miracle that gives a lot of detail of the various benefits of the mineral but I haven't got around to checking that out. All I know is that it seems to be having a positive impact so far.

Finally, I'm immensely relieved to have found a support group that I have such a good feeling about. It has been set up by the production company behind the "What about ME?" documentary and group members post their individual stories, and subsequent updates, in the form of videos. I've really struggled with the isolation this illness has caused and with the fact that, with the best will in the world, most people don't understand what life has become for me. Now I have a place where I feel understood and accepted and that's worth such a lot. I might even start posting video updates here instead of writing, haha.

The group can be found here: Vimeo

That's enough for now, I think. Thanks for listening to my ramblings - take care!

Barry