Keep Going Forward, However Slowly

Sometimes, we cannot avoid standing face to face with ourselves. Seeing all that we are and seeing all within us that we cannot celebrate.

Barriers are built strong and high. Feelings are strangled or rationalised to death. Perhaps those barriers were necessary in the past, to protect us from some grim realities we could not safely confront. Perhaps they solidify to the point of lingering much longer than is healthy for us.

Yet, feelings and emotions are colossal forces and refuse to be cast aside completely. They might not enjoy the immediate attention they deserve but they will steadfastly hang around, waiting for their time to scream louder than they originally might have.

When we look within ourselves, we wonder how much of who we are was decided long ago. How much change we can effect. How far removed from the past we can become. How many of the same mistakes we are destined to continue making.

Our backs might feel bent by our burdens. Our memories filled with those we have hurt, those who hurt us and those who touched our lives but are now no longer part of it.

Life might seem to continue to deal us bad cards. Reminding ourselves that there are always others in a worse situation and of the blessings in our lives might sometimes not do the trick. Compassion and gratitude might not always win through.

Ultimately, we must discard any attachment to the notion of fairness. There will never be any solace possible in clinging on to such a concept.

We cannot get back what is lost. We cannot undo the hurt we caused. We cannot travel back in time and alter the past. We are a melting pot of our experiences and our decisions. The dice have been rolled.

The future might be full of fear. The past full of regrets. The will to carry on might be weak. The outlook may seem bleak.

And yet, the path only goes in one direction.

We must keep going forward, however slowly.